Dundee: Everyone’s favourite crocodile hunter is back (sort of)

Dundee: Everyone’s favourite crocodile hunter is back (sort of) and Indiana Jones isn’t far behind...

Trailer click here

We forget that Crocodile Dundee was doing “bushcraft” even before bushcraft was a thing, going out on “walk about” and carrying a big knife. He may have been fictional but he certainly was an influence on my life, along with another hat wearing hero – Indiana Jones. Which is probably (most certainly) why I like to wear Australian bush hats and brown fedoras. But why is Paul Hogan bringing back, or teasing that he will bring back Crocodile Dundee now?

Well, it seems to have stemmed from the spoof Superbowl DUNDEE film commercial in 2018 which made a lot of people very excited at the prospect of seeing a re-boot of the 1986 phenomenon Crocodile Dundee, suddenly this unexpected online interest made a new film relevant (sort of) and which could possibly also be a success (maybe), playing on the nostalgia currently being experienced for 1980’s films. They started filming in mid-2018. Hoges has always said he wouldn’t make another Croc Dundee film. He said it would be Crocodile Dundee in the Care Home and rightly so. And this isn’t going to be a Croc Dundee film.

Unfortunately for Hogan his last Croc Dundee film was about 8 years too late (it would have been awesome in about 1993) and by 2001 when Croc III Crocodile Dundee in Los Angeles was released the Crocodile Dundee wave had passed, it had been forgotten, or had become uncool, and the nostalgia for 1980’s films had not yet arrived. On its release Crocodile Dundee in Los Angeles had a really exciting trailer, which was probably better than the film, but even this didn’t quite pull me back to the Cinema (not wanting to look uncool in front of my mates). The other big movie of that decade was Indiana Jones and the Crystal Skull (2008) which was…erm…something I wanted to love and which I do like (sort of) but which just takes itself far too seriously. I have to say out of Croc III and Indy IV I think Croc III is "better", mainly it doesn’t take itself too seriously (the script is shocking), the storyline weak...and, I mean, the baddie in Croc II appears as Dundee’s mate in Croc III …I love the lack of continuity in the Dundee universe but it has its charm in its made for TV low budget style and the fun of it. But they are kind of the same, both Indy IV and Croc III are comeback movies many years after the last sequel, the leading actors are old, they both wear hats...and the two heroes both get married at the end. And... they were both a dissapointment in that neither lived up to the expectation. I prefer Croc III however.

Watching Croc III on DVD is nostalgic, and thoroughly recommended if you don’t have very high expectations, and just want some easy to watch vaguely interesting, made for TV sort of film. And I have to say I enjoy watching it, seeing Mick Dundee, Sue, Donk and Nugget again. Although Sue and Nugget have forgotten how to act and Donk has lost a lot of weight (and has become quite eloquent since becoming a bar tender.). I still laugh when Dundee is the bath drinking a cold one, when he accidentally switches on the Jacuzzi and shouts "crocodile!". And Dundee and Jacko's trip to Wendys for a drive-thru burger really is hilarious.

A few years later Hogan starred in Strange Bedfellows (2004) which was the laugh out loud comedy that Croc III should have been, and then in 2009 Charlie and Boots was this beautiful, subtle, artistic comedy film with its serious moments, and seemingly the end of Hogan's film career. He has always said that he retired after Crocodile Dundee as he did what he set out to do, and thereafter just did things for fun. I do love this attitude but it may explain why Hogan had so many flops from 1990 to 2001.

Fast forward ten years and history seems to be repeating itself, we have “Croc IV” and hopefully Indy 5 a year two years later (maybe). Whilst we know that that Indy 5 is probably going to be terrible (Disney's Star Wars Sequels anyone?), I do feel a certain excitement at Hoges’ new film. But I realise I need to stop calling it Croc IV. It isn’t. It is called The Very Excellent Mr Dundee, a meta-comedy about Hollywoods insistance to reboot / remake / reinvent Crocodile Dundee...hence why the emphasis in the film's title is on the DUNDEE. I am certain we aint going to be seeing Mick Dundee again, even as a cameo. Which is a shame. A bushcrafting Larrikin is exactly what we need right now...but it is sensible decision as Paul Hogan is elderly and his Crocodile days are long gone... With the release date set for 30^th April (Australia) we will soon find out. Unless we don't want to look uncool in front of our mates then we will just have to wait for it to come out on VHS, I  mean DVD...Netflix.

Although, Paul, this is seriously not the best time to release a film in the midst of COVID-19... this could be disastrous...but the trailer looks bloody brilliant nevertheless!

As for Indy 5 it seems that the pandemic has ultimately put a hiatus on this...revised release date is 2022. Interestingly, Harrison Ford will be the same age in Indy 5 as Paul Hogan was in The Very Excellent Mr Dundee. It seems Paul knows when it is time to call it a day with Crocodile Dundee proper (in 2001 when he was in his early 60's), but Harrison Ford? Less so. Make way for a 79 year old Indiana Jones.

JRR Tolkien: The ultimate author for bushcrafters?

To me at least, J.R.R. Tolkien’s whole Middle Earth series, or Legendarium, is a perfect read for bushcrafters - in particular The Lord of the Rings. It is quite a gentlemanly adventure, at least at first, as the Hobbits jump through a hole in the hedge, walking with their sticks, smoking their pipes, with their ruck sacks on their backs, eating and sleeping under old oak trees, and meeting Elves, and even a Ranger. I am sure they have Swiss Army Knives in their pockets which they use to uncork a bottle of Old Winyards (a wine from the Southfarthing). And of course, they find themselves in an adventure. It is an adventure told in an old fashioned sort of way, let’s says “traditional”, but then, so are many bushcrafters who like their steel high carbon, a Scandinavian grind, and their sheathes made of leather.

Tolkien’s Middle Earth is also very English, dare I say quite East Anglian (although I believe The Shire is somewhere between Oxford and the Cotswolds), and that is to say, Anglo-Saxon  but it is also rather Nordic too, literally… Gandalf and the Dwarves are right out of the Icelandic Elder Edda after all, and Middle Earth is translated directly from “Midgard” leaving us under no illusions of where our story is based, in a forgotten pre-Christian age reminiscent of Anglo-saxons and Vikings.

The Legendarium is therefore very much set in a Northern European climate and I suspect has a greater relevance (instinctually) to readers who live in these colder climes, not solely Northern Europe, but perhaps the more northern parts of Japan, Russia, Siberia perhaps, Canada and of course New Zealand.

I like Tolkien’s stories as they convey to me a sort of magicalness which I also feel when I am out in the countryside and woods of Middle England; where it is OK to enjoy an adventure at a sedate pace, enjoying the subtleties of nature, the beauty of a tree, the song of a Robin, the warmth of a fire, rather than those escapades I see on youtube which are referred to as "extreme sports", I suspect the average adrenalin junkie does not like Tolkien very much.

Tolkien’s work is very much a linguistic one, since he was a philologist and Professor of Anglo-Saxon (and unoffically also Old Norse) who invented languages in his spare time. Sometimes, when I am out in rural England, I see place names which remind me of names in his books. Place names such as Little Livermere, Methwold, Wicklewood, Winfarthing, Wood Dalling and Wood Norton, the River Witham, and The Deepings, and Deeping Gate; Bag Enderby, Brandy Wharf, Quadring, Frognall, Frogshall and Elveden. Sometimes I feel I am finding echoes of The Shire in these rural “shire” counties. I don't think that Tolkien necessarily got his names from the above, rather, he understood the roots of names, the archaeology of words, so that his languages and his names just fit authentically, as if they are real.

I have been acquainted with Lord of the Rings for many years, and whilst I still do enjoy to reading it, I find myself more intrigued by the first age of Middle Earth, The Silmarillion of course, but more precisely The Children of Hurin and also The Fall of Gondolin. Whilst these are more challenging reads, I find as I grow older that they intrigue me more and more, as do, as an aside, Tolkien’s Sigurd and Gudrun, and the Norse Myths in general.

I don’t what others think, but Tolkien seems to achieved what he set out to do, both as respected academic, but also in his spare (and retired) time, creating languages and a whole mythology of Nordic influence. I find it appeals to me due to my interest in nature and bushcraft…sentient talking trees anyone?

My view of bushcraft is probably quite narrow and there are, of course, many avenues for and of Bushcraft; for example, preppers, survivalists, the Bushman of the Savannah, the Pigmy’s of the Congo, tribes who live in the Amazon Rainforest. But for me – and I know this is hopelessly ethnocentric – Bushcraft is very much linked to the Nordic world of Tolkien, of rural Britain, of Beech trees, and old twisted Oak, Scots Pine, of hares, eagles and red stags…and in the mists of prehistory, of bison, wolves, lions, bears and the venerable woolly mammoth. Its essence is something fundamental that links us to our hunter-gatherer ancestors of the desolate ice age, and the magical world of the Siberian shaman and that vast Euroasian continent that was once contiguous with America. A veritable "Middle Earth".

Helle Viking Knife - A knife with real warrior spirit

The Helle Viking Knife from Norway. A black blade...something that Turin Turambar might carry?!

Overview
111 mm x 3.7mm blade with black carbon residue for a rustic aesthetic. Hand sharpened with a scandi grind which is asymmetrical - each side of the grind, whilst uniform, has a different depth and angle to the other side giving an idiosyncratic hand-made feel, but which doesn't affect function. 

Triple laminated carbon steel: hard centre with softer metal on the outside - its razor sharp. A rat tail tang offers a light weight handle. Simple but comfortable handle in curly birch. A solid medieval looking sheath.

Summary:

A rustic simple aesthetic which is slightly underwhelming on opening - minimalist even - but which soon becomes charming, idiosyncratic and characterful. A knife which has its own soul, it doesn't feel too safe though, a dangerous sort of knife, and a knife that likes to drink blood!?

THE VIKING KNIFE:

I have been using the Viking Knife for about 8 months now and I must say it has become my "go to knife". But there is a caveat because, as beautiful as it looks, this is an unforgiving knife. I feel intrinsically that this knife has a real spirit, so much so that I want to call it Gurthang, the Iron of Death in Tolkien's Legendarium. Why do I say this?  It isn't just because I have cut myself really badly with this knife, which I have, but because no other knife has felt as alive as this knife, and dangerous. Poetic license? Perhaps. Despite this, I really love this knife.

 

That's not to say that it has its foibles which some would see as negatives for a knife in this price bracket. The carbon residue on the blade, making it black, is part of the manufacturing process and will develop its own patina and wear off with use. Personally I like this, others, perhaps expecting a proper rust resistant black coating might not like it, or not understand its purpose. It's simple: the black coating has no purpose other than for its aesthetics. What’s more, the grinding is hopelessly asymmetric which some will hate, and the sheath is impractical. It ties on the belt with a leather thong and the knot tends to work itself loose every 5 to 10 minutes. Using around the house and garden the sheath is perfect but for anything else I would worry about losing the knife. A better sheath would make this a much better bushcraft option. Although having said all that when I am in the woods I fit the knife through my belt loop and tie the leather strap around my belt (a very nice Hebtroco Garrison belt) Samurai style and it seems to stay put. It has a rat tail tang which again many will not like as most bushcraft knives are full tang but it makes it a light weight knife which is nice to carry and hold.

 

As a bushcraft-type knife it is pretty damn good, as stated it is not full tang so you have to be careful, but I have batoned smaller pieces of wood just fine. The best thing about the knife is the sharpness, it is razor sharp and so easy to sharpen. It is also a thirsty blade which has enjoyed drinking my blood. It certainly doesn’t feel like a safe sort of blade so I guess not for beginners, or for very clumsy people.

I also like the tri-laminated steel although it does seem to rust along the top edge after batoning. It is great for feathering fire sticks, carving and general bushcraft duties. It is my back-up knife and also a knife that I will take on general walks where I am not expecting to do huge amounts of bushcraft. If you are only taking one knife for a bushcraft excursion you will probably want a full tang knife and one that you can strike a ferro rod on, so probably this is a back-up knife, and an aesthetic knife rather than your number one bushcraft knife. 

Having said all that this knife has really grown on me, I have had to try hone the asymmetricalness of the grind, just enough to dissuade my obsessiveness, as I have said, this knife has a real soul. The curly birch handle is just great to look at and to touch and the blade itself has a certain feel and patina. I feel there is almost a Japanese aesthetic going on, its almost minimalist, but it is endearing and full of its own individual character. It certainly has more soul than the Casstrom Woodsman which whilst much safer (I have never cut myself with the Woodsman) is more or less a tool for a job, whereas this is like the sword of the samurai, it has soul and it has personality. Which is surprising as I was underwhelmed when I first received it.  However, the Helle Viking has become my go-to knife whenever I need a knife, even in gardening or cooking a BBQ, I reach for this knife first and above all others. Why? It just has a shape and feel which lends itself to any task, and that sheath, which is impractical in many ways, is actually really good on the hip taking the knife out and putting it back in effortlessly whilst in the midst of a task, such as gardening, cooking or even wood carving.

My conclusion is that it is one of my favourite knives but it has its issues, in terms of quality control. Now there are two ways of looking at these quality issues, one, that these are foibles of its handmade nature or, two, it is just poor quality. I tend to think it is part of its characteristic foible. Having said that I didn’t pay full price, it was about £72.00, if this was full price and nearer the £100 mark I would be sending it back until I get a perfect example! So, there is some risk buying this knife. It is probably best to see a bunch of these in the flesh and find the perfect one! A risky purchase but I think worth it. If you are looking for a knife with character, which will develop its own patina, and its own story, this is the knife for you. 

I am typing this with my index finger heavily bandaged, I can’t help feel that this knife not only deserves respect, but demands it of you. It wants to be anointed with oil and it wants a name. I don’t know how Helle did it but they channelled the Viking spirit into this knife, and what a knife it is!

So, in short, a very characterful knife with a comfortable handle but an unforgiving blade that draws blood when not respected and rusts when not cared for.